On the need to adult…

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2016 has been a tough one in all respects. People I know and care about have experienced so much loss and grief in their lives, and some of it affected me as well. And, you know what? It takes its toll. Hard.

It makes you ask hard questions. And it makes you face just how vulnerable and, effectively, mortal people are. Everything can change in the wink of an eye…

It’s only August, and I feel like I usually do around December. Tired, empty and in dire need of a recharge. I need a holiday, far away, with no cellphone reception. Time to switch off and recharge. Away for everything and everyone.

I need to gain perspective. I need to answer MY hard questions. 

Hell, I’m on the other side of 30 now. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life… Do I want to keep doing what I’m doing? Do I need to take the plunge and chase my dreams? Do I attempt to juggle the two? Because, I love what I currently do. Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know if it is ultimately what I want to keep doing in order to find myself, and my bliss… Tough things to think about.

But I’m guessing I have to adult at some stage and think hard about this.

People who know me and follow me on my social journeys know I love food. Eating it, preparing it, and serving it. There is no greater joy for me than to see people enjoy what I’ve put on a plate… it gives me the warm fuzzies, and a sense of accomplishment. And I am by no means a qualified chef. Or cook. I’m a mere home cook. But I still love doing it.

But again, is this what I want to do with the rest of my life?

How do you feed the two beasts and find the balance between your dreams and your reality? How do you make them work? Do you end up sacrificing your weekends to pursue this? Your evenings? Your life?

Because, I’m scared of taking the risk, and the plunge to chase this. I’m not a huge risk taker… everything is calculated…

My head is spinning with all the thoughts, and I’m actually just getting nowhere with this.

Times like these I wish I could just say fuckit and chase after butterflies with not a single care in the world.

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/

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